So Barstool sports released its first-ever documentary this past week. Its subject? The Bills Mafia.
The title, appropriately, #BillsMafia.
Well, not THE Bills Mafia, per se, according to, well, the “official” Bills Mafia, but those whose tailgate antics have gone viral, leading to copycats in the private lots surrounding One Bills Drive.
Since perception is indeed reality, the title sticks to the minority of WWE-style fratboy antics who deflect the rationale of their notorious behavior to the Bills on-field ineptitude.
Yeah. It’s their fault. Sure it is. And if the Bills WERE the Patriots, this would have never happened, right?
Maybe not in Foxborough, but in Orchard Park, one could argue the frivolity might even be worse. And we need not go into all the reasons why, do we?
The official Bills Mafia has publicly distanced themselves from those featured in this ten-minute feature, voiced by a John Facenda impersonator that crosses the great, orchestral narrations of NFL Films with that of a Christopher Guest mockumentary. Pathetically, however, these fans justify their behavior like sixth grade tattle-talers.
All due respect to Del Reid and the actual Bills Mafia, when you name your organization after a dark, underworld syndicate known for self-justified bloodshed, what the Buffalo did you think was going to happen?
When one of the best-known Bills fans, Fairport’s Ken Johnson, (AKA Pinto Ron) is featured dripping in condiments boasting he is the Bills Mafia, then sorry: the Bills Mafia is an all-or-nothing proposition. And to be fair, Ken IS the Bills Mafia. Heck, he was one of the few Buffalo representatives featured in the five-part ESPN 30 for 30 doc, “OJ: Made in America.”
Sure, they do charity work, but let’s not kid ourselves; the idea of branding the “FAMbase” the #BillsMafia was to go as viral as the very videos that make “Animal House” look like “House of Cards.”
Most Bills fans can sympathize with Reid’s plight. He and his well-intentioned fellow fans have created a monster whose consequential reputation has grown as much a part of the last two decades of Bills history as loserdom.
And the fans featured in “#BillsMafia,” a small, small percentage of Kardashian wannabes, give sites like Barstool and Deadspin all the ammo they need to kill Buffalo for being more than just a bad football franchise, a year-round snowglobe and the debt-collection capital of the world.
The sad part is that Buffalo itself has undergone a renaissance since the turn of the millennium—something the Bills and the Sabres have had little to do with, other than their bailouts by Terry and Kim Pegula, who are putting their billions into two teams, and a downtown atmosphere that fosters a new culture of fun. And all it takes is a bunch of fame-mongering morons (yes, all of you who do this stupid sh*t) who create and send videos to these gotcha-sites for your own pleasure.
You’re grown men and women. Act like it.
The Bills reportedly are unhappy with the attention these videos give and rightfully so. You can kiss all this goodbye when a new stadium gets built downtown and prices skyrocket to keep the so-called riffraff away from New Bills Drive. Sadly, it’ll keep the lovable diehards away, too.
The saddest part of the “documentary?” The mother of one of the two infamous adult toy-tossers (Bills-Pats, ’16) goes on record about her son’s banishment, much like a typical attention-seeking Real Housewife of Orange County in her sparkly PINK shirt inside the living room of her upper-middle class suburban Buffalo home. The Bills once boasted an ad campaign to “Make Mom Proud” by discouraging fan lunacy at the former Ralph. This mother seems happy to encourage her kid’s habit of turning a game families watch into an instant porno, and stamps her approval at the end of the doc by boasting with the others “I am the Bills Mafia.” Class.
There’s that old saying about a few bad apples, right? But, we must never forget the rest of the phrase, that those few “ruin the whole bunch.” Bills fan tailgates are at their tamest are a happy, College Gameday atmosphere, and at their worst, a late-night Cinemax movie. This writer has been to many Bills games, and other than a few drunk fans relieving themselves, and a few fights IN the stadium (look, it happens) most fans just want to enjoy football. When the Bills broke season ticket records after hiring Rex Ryan, it was the hope that Ryan would bring the Bills back to prominence that sold those seats—not the idea the tailgates would reach Charlie-Bit-My-Finger status.
That being said, watch the documentary for yourself. If it were a spoof of tailgates around the NFL, it would be hilarious. Instead, its an inaccurate (as far as the rest of the Bills faithful), but fair portrayal of competing tailgaters trying to out-do each other and make names for themselves. The justification of it is the most disturbing part; it’s saying the Bills organization deserves this for producing perennial also-rans. Aside from Pinto Ron’s party, which is harmless fun, the rest of these simpletons have built a new brand of fan that glorifies losing at life, as long as its on tape. Y’know? The hold-my-beer crowd of invincible, beer-muscled, brand of douche.
And Barstool is there to document all of it. Sounds about right.
Never let embarassment go to waste.
Sorry Bills fans; America is laughing AT you, not with you.
The post The Worst of the Bills Mafia appeared first on Times of Wayne County.